Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i out mim tonsoeep
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
