I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
