another moral hangover. fuck.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
