I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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