Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
