Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize