We're like a lot better than the average bears
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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