Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
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Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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