Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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