my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
