dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
its liver damage thursday
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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