Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
