i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Sober January is a disaster.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
