We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
