Sry I called you an 8
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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