I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
