if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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