It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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