I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
