He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Actions speak louder than pants.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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