I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She told me I should be a condom model.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
