i jhust puked up my retainher.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
