do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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