i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
