M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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