If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
