how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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