Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
