Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Green mimosas i think yes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
