you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
