I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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