i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
