there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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