im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
