new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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