hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
