i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
