she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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