So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
