He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
