his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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