Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
