Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
