it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
