he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize