Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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