You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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