I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
