im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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