Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
