i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We're too hungover to prance.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just puked most of my soul out..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
