I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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