Me too!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
