she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
