Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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