The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
