you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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