He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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