I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
