And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
