This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
