So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
