It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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